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I have been close companions with a woman, who has overcome many challenges, and I respect her for that. Yet, she has been constantly blindsided in relationships. Her husband walked away, and it was a huge shock. Several of close acquaintances drifted away then, because they seemed only interested in her husband. This surprised her deeply. She put in increased attention in our friendship, likely realised more acutely what friendship was.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, quite a few close to her vanished leaving her sure why. Her previous job turned on her, even though she had been very skilled at her work, she departed unaware of the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, we've both stepped back from work and are seeing frequent meetups, however, I feel my role in our friendship is to listen. I open discussion points but she shifts conversation onto things she cares about. Regarding political views, she holds strong opinions. My effort is to suggest verifying facts and different perspectives.

She has been arranging a trip to a nation I know well repeatedly even called home for some time. I tried to provide personal experiences, however, my input unappreciated. She purely only wanted me to confirm her choices. I have come back from 30 days there she is eager to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I don't want to be a friend that walks away without explanation, yet I doubt she'll truly grasp the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Right now, my state is distancing myself. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

One option is to walk away, yet this is rarely the peaceful resolution we hope for. Yet having a direct talk aiming for resolution demands strength and openness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates using a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Initially is to state the usual pattern during your discussions. Aim for this to be based on facts like what a recording device would replay. Step two is to express the way it affects you emotionally. This allows for no argument here. What you feel belong to you, of course. The third step is to question how you are both going to change the interaction of your friendship."

Keep in mind your friend has a point of view, so you need to stay open to listen to her. An approach that works is telling to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts while I will listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

This can be successful to encourage understanding.

Closing Considerations

Your friend could ignore all you say, for those who have a deep-seated story: they rely on a version regarding their experiences they cannot let go of because their very survival is tied to it and it represents they've known. This poses a challenge when there seems no easy route with these people, just dead ends. Yet she could at first react defensively before reflecting on your words. And should you don't achieve a resolution, it provides satisfaction knowing you were truthful.